Sunday, February 21, 2010

Zeus Vs. Odin

Jimmy: Clearly the Norse Pantheon of Gods is far superior to the Greek Pantheon. The Norse Gods epitomize all that pagan Gods should be, while the Greek Gods are no more than lunatic, immortal humans. Take a look at the two head gods of each pantheon. Zeus, of the Greek Pantheon, killed his own father and “knew” (biblical sense) one of his daughters. That is not what I would call a great God, and yet he is the greatest the Pantheon has to offer. Odin, also known as Wotan, is the leader of the Norse Gods. He stabbed his own eye out to be able to see into the future. That is a god. Zeus is the god of the sky and thunder. Who can respect a god whos most feared weapon is clouds? Odin is the Norse god of wisdom and war with control over a metaphysical dominion, giving him superiority over all that is in the tangible world. Not to mention, Odin has two palaces and the mead hall, Valhalla. Zeus has a mole hill he calls a mountain. Clearly Odin is the superior God.

Will: How dare you belittle the great Zeus! Do you even know who your talking about?! This is the Clinton of the Greek world. This is the guy who seduced one of the hottest babes in the world as a bull! Do you know how difficult it is to be a sexy bull?! Let me tell you, its super difficult. This is the guy that in stead of getting caught cheating, turned his lover into a cow (He had a thing for cows).

Who could blame him?

This is the guy who had so many sons he could start a divine intercity softball league. So pardon me when I claim that Zeus is better than cyclops, clumsy old Odin (O-dumb!) who rides a very impractical 8 legged horse and eats with dead guys.

Jimmy: I do indeed know whom I am talking about. Zeus is a clown with a beard. He wears a bed sheet. The fact that he got with this babe as a bull would seem to speak more to her own lunacy than Zeus prowess with the opposite gender. Odin has the ability to change into any animal, and not just a bull. Besides, Zeus has no son who can stand up to Odin’s son Thor. Thor is the thunder god who wields a baddass magical hammer named Mjolnir.

And Odin may be a Cyclops, but he can see the future, something Zeus definitely cannot do. Zeus clearly has an inferiority complex which is why he is the Pepe Le Pew of the pagan gods. On top of everything, Merlin and Gandalf, two of the most powerful characters in all of literature, were based upon Odin. Zeus has nothing to match that legacy.

Will: Zeus is a God of many talents. The main one being cheating on his wife. And although adultery isnt usually a good thing, since he does it while throwing lightning bolts I think some exceptions can be made. Odins shape shifting means nothing to me.The Animorphs could change into animals too but it doesn't mean I'm going to worship them.

With computer animation this good, I don't see why not.

It matters more what you do when you shape shift and in Zeus' case, he did a lot. A whole lot.

Who the hell is Thor anyway besides a B list Marvel superhero with a fruity helmet?

I think Zeus has less an inferiority complex and more a libido the size of Mount Olympus itself. And you want legacy? How about the Disney movie "Hercules" for legacy? Although that showed more the soft patronly side of Zeus and less the turning into a swan and committing more adultery side.

Jimmy: Although just being able to change into an animal is not basis for worship, Odin has many aspects that set him apart from the Anamorphs. To name a few, he has a magical ring that multiplies every nine days, an unbreakable spear and he happens to be the father of all mankind. Zeus was the father of a series of children he decided to eat.

Don't cite Disney movies at me, you bastard. "Hercules" has only a small role for Zeus in which he commits zero adultery. Are you kidding me? A swan?! Obviously Greek women have unhealthy obsessions with animals. Odin usually wears battle armor and sits in his throne while Zeus is in the form of a platypus and tries to seduce his own daughter. It is clear that Odin is the one worth worshiping. He is wise, strong, and hardcore enough to cut out his own eye.

Will: Zues is a God of Great ambition. He led the charge against the Titans and overthrew them making him the leader of the Gods. He has a staff of lighting that he hurls around when he is angry. He is a passionate lover and a fervent liar, and he was loved by his people. Odin is just a senile old man who doesn't remember the last time he changed his adult diaper. He is the creepy old guy on your block that always forgets to put his battle armour on when he goes out to get the mail. He's a weirdo and no one should trust him. Zeus on the other hand is a man's God who doesn't let his old lady tie him down. He keeps it real even when it means turning tricks into cows to save himself. The obvious choice, for any respectable male, would be to worship the God who's got the goods. His name is Zeus.

-Will Albrecht

-Jimmy Goodrich

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